My estranged sister is struggling financially and wants to borrow money from me — but I don’t feel comfortable with that. What should I do?

Put your financial security first

While offering financial help to an estranged relative may mend the rift, the more likely outcome could just spell more trouble.

In fact, a LendingTree study of more than 1,000 American adults found that nearly a third of respondents who lent or borrowed money from a family member reported negative consequences.

If you aren't close with your sibling, as an example, this rift in your relationship will likely only increase the odds that they won't live up to their end of the deal. You could find yourself losing money in the long run or encounter damaged credit if you co-sign for them.

In fact, more than a third of the lenders in the study have not been paid back, with 24% regretting their decision to loan money to their relative or friend.

Unless you're in a healthy financial position and have a genuine desire to provide a gift outright with no expectation of payback, avoid entangling your finances with an estranged relation.

Even if you do decide a gift is the right move, you may want to consider the reasons for their monetary request and whether you'll end up resentful about the interaction at a later date.

If they have a tendency to mismanage their money and are likely to be struggling financially again within a short amount of time, you’re likely going to be feeling worse about the situation than if the estranged relative had experienced an unexpected income loss, for example.

Because the stakes are high, proceed with caution when making your decision.

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Offering to help in other ways

If you’ve decided to deny your relative’s request for financial assistance, it might ease your conscience to offer help in other ways.

Depending on how dire the situation is, perhaps you can work with them to find government benefits they might be eligible for.

You can also help them to understand their options. For example, they may not know about debt consolidation or balance transfer credit cards they could be eligible for. Offer these ideas as alternatives and offer to assist in finding a loan — but don’t co-sign for it.

Offer assistance in financial planning if you're good at budgeting. Share tips on how to slash your grocery bill using coupons and other shopping hacks.

You don't have to outright abandon your family member in a time of need just because you're estranged — but you also shouldn't open your pocketbook unless there's a very good reason to do so. In the end, you don't want to hurt your own financial security in the process.