'Falling into ruin': Dad was a successful real estate investor, but as he declined his portfolio became a 'nightmare' for his son to untangle — a reality many children face

No will, but still a way

The son’s situation didn’t get any less complicated when he finally convinced his father to let him access the deposit box, only to discover what wasn’t in it — as in, no will, no trust nor any income records.

How common are situations such as this? In the case of wills, the statistics are disconcerting. An August 2023 report by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College shows that, where the head of the household is 70 or older, the number who had a will dropped steadily from 72% in 1996 to 63% in 2018.

In general, staying on top of income records can pose a challenge. The Social Security Administration acknowledged as recently as 2021 that research pointed to “survey-reported income measures, particularly pension and retirement income, suffer from reporting errors, which lead to biased estimates of income.”

Outside help is often needed to organize such convoluted financial and family dynamics. In these cases, families might pick up the phone and call a lawyer or financial adviser to coldly set things straight.

But there are alternatives. Some firms specialize in family conflict resolution, aiming to consult on both the legal and mental health aspects of familial strife. Remember, the son himself felt the need to see a psychologist. Beware, however, these services can sometimes cost a pretty penny.

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A stance of persistence

Tax issues, repairs and other complications — at this point, many of the properties were “visibly falling into ruin” — could have plagued the son in the absence of an estate plan.

He lacked the legal authority to act on his father’s behalf, who initially refused to discuss getting a will and trust — a decision that can lead to chaos. Eventually, the son prevailed in changing his father’s mind, and the properties were placed in a trust, which saved “countless” dollars and headed off the dreaded legal fate of probate when the father died several months later.

The son was also able to tackle the necessary repairs to the homes on behalf of his father and rent them out again.

It would’ve been simpler if the homes were the only things that required fixing. The prevailing lesson here revolves around how complication can block communication.

“If the elder resists talking about it, persist,” article author Carolyn Rosenblatt advised. “Keep asking. Deal with their resistance. If you don’t, you may be in for a nasty surprise.”